Facing the Thing

If you’re like me, there’s probably a question you know you need to ask, and maybe you’ve been putting it off. Or an email you need to send. A call you need to make.

You know it’s there. You know it likely isn’t going away. It’s not that you don’t want to start the process. You’re just not quite ready for what happens next.

Because once you ask the question, you have to deal with the answer. And there’s always the possibility that the answer will mean more work, an uncomfortable decision, or a problem you weren’t expecting.

So… maybe you wait.

Here’s the thing though. While you’re waiting, you’re probably already dealing with it. Just not with actual information.

You’re imagining possibilities, anticipating problems, and perhaps even making plans based on what you think the answer might be.

But those aren’t facts. They’re possibilities.

I had one of those situations recently. A client had a potential deadline coming up, and I wasn’t sure what that meant for the work I would need to do. Depending on the answer, I might have had quite a bit to accomplish in a relatively short amount of time. And I wasn’t particularly eager to find out.

I could see several ways the situation might unfold, and some of them weren’t especially appealing. So I kept thinking about what I might need to do, without actually knowing whether any of it would be necessary.

Eventually, I decided I needed to face The Thing.

I asked the questions. I explained what I needed to know. And then I waited for the answer.

As it turned out, the deadline wasn’t nearly as immediate as I’d feared. There was no urgent project waiting for me, no sudden scramble to get everything finished.

That was a relief.

But I think I felt better even before I knew how it would turn out. I’d finally done something about the uncertainty instead of continuing to work through all the possible scenarios in my head.

And that’s the part I’ve been thinking about.

The answer could just as easily have been something I didn’t want to hear. There might have been a deadline, a difficult conversation, or work that needed immediate attention.

Asking sooner wouldn’t have changed those circumstances. But it would have given me something concrete to work with.

There’s certainly value in thinking ahead and anticipating what might happen. It’s part of being prepared, especially when other people are depending on us.

But there’s a point where preparing for possibilities can turn into carrying around problems we don’t even know we have. And sometimes the only way to find out is to ask.

Facing The Thing doesn’t necessarily mean fixing it. It might mean discovering that there’s more work ahead, or that a decision needs to be made. It might even mean finding out that things are more complicated than we thought. But at least now we’re dealing with what we know, rather than what we’re afraid might be true.

And sometimes, as I was fortunate enough to discover this time, The Thing turns out not to be much of a thing at all.